Short excerpt from a novel in progress:
It was about this time that I invented the hand piano.
Hell, I know I didn’t invent it. It was the oldest musical instrument of all time. There’re five fingers. That’s five notes. A pentatonic scale. The bones are like bones. They’re both the black and the white keys. You can play the blues on your hand. The hand is a percussive instrument, but it's also a melodic instrument.
One can refine this even further
There are three accessible joints on each finger, each with a different note. A single finger can register three distinct pitches. This means that, superimposed upon the basic pentatonic scale, we have a harmonic series. There are a large number of melodic and rhythmic possibilities buried in the hand.
Bless the hand piano.
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That's what I used to say till all these assholes who are trying to scam me popped up. Die motherfuckers, die.