Showing posts with label fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fiction. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 29, 2025

My books

 Here they are, an even dozen. 

Cat Came Back and Other Stories: short stories and a short novel.
Two Trains Running: novel set in the US and in South Africa.
Stockboy: collection of short stories with a through line and novelistic thematic connections.
God Awful Acres: novel set in South Africa.
The Meeting: novel about love connections.
No One to Blame: collection of short stories and poems.
Neighbors: vignettes about a neighborhood, and three story/essays.
Cycads, Weevils and Africa: non-fiction about research in entomology and evolution on the title subjects in Africa.
Bits off Burning Bridges: short, short pieces that are not quite poetry.
Bits Too: more short, short pieces that are not quite poetry.
Diminuendo: novel of family, murder, and escape.
Off Minor: short novel of bank robberies, fugitive life, and love.
Buy here:
also at Amazon et al.


 

Monday, October 16, 2017

TWO SIX PACKS OF COLT .45

Pretty much a true story at age 14, with a recently departed friend, at age 66. Written maybe 35 years ago.

TWO SIX PACKS OF COLT .45

 
     I lifted my third can of Colt .45 to my mouth, guzzled, a little bit dripping down my jaw. I was definitely high, on my way to becoming drunk. It doesn’t take much when you first start.
     My buddy was down on the floor, doing push-ups. He was getting drunk too, and starting to feel like a real strong man. I held my can of Colt over his back and gave it a turn. Splip, splish…it cascaded onto his back, cold beer.
     “Hey! What the hell! Jesus! Goddamnit! What are you doing?” He folded up on the floor like a wet straw wrapper, then got on his knees and stared at me, mad.
     I laughed my ass off.
     “Think it’s pretty funny, eh?”    
     “It was.” I was still laughing, my belly shaking. “It was. You shoulda seen yourself!”

     “Oh yeah? Well here!”
     He gave his beer can a jerk in my direction and a stream of beer shot out in my face and splashed down over my chest.
     “Well shit, man…” I moved to paste him with a gusher.
     “Hey! No! Wait! We’ll get beer all over! My parents’ll know we’ve been drinking.”
     “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”
     It was the first time either of us had been drunk. We were to become steady drinking buddies for the rest of that summer, and quite a few summers afterward when we became old pros. But it was new then, and a novelty. It was a discovery of a new world. We were bored with the one we lived in everyday. To be transported to a different world was an exciting and vibrant thing.
     We both popped open new beers and moved into the living room. I started slapping my face.
     “Hey! I can’t feel nothing!  Not a thing! I’m all numb!” I sat there slapping myself on the cheeks, hard, more and more amused. We both began to laugh, the laughter building and building like a snowball until we were helpless with it. I felt like I was about to burst out of my skin.
     “Whoo! I can’t feel anything! I can’t feeeel anything!” I sang, I laughed, rocking in my chair.
     Then I got up and jumped into the air, letting myself fall freely. I made no effort to break or soften the fall.
     “Wheee! Up we go!” Crash. “Down we fall! I can’t even feel this!”
     My friend joined in and there we were, both of us, jumping damn near to the ceiling and smashing to the floor like sacks of potatoes, rolling around on the rug in hysterical laughter. Everything in the room was quivering and jingling, the floor was shaking.
     “Can’t feeeel anything! This is crazy!”
     We got tired of that after awhile and sat with our beers. Colt.45 Malt Liquor. This was the strong stuff.
     “You ever wonder what it’s all about?” I asked.
     “What what’s all about?”
     “All of it. Everything. I mean look around. Why do we do what we do? Why do we go to school? Why do our parents work? Nobody ever enjoys their lives! I’m not going to be that way. I’m going to enjoy myself. I’m going to really live! There’s something wrong, but I don’t know what it is. So many people just work all day and watch T.V. all night. They don’t even notice what’s all around them! Then they get old and retire and they’re too old to enjoy things anymore. There’s something wrong.”
     “You’re drunk that’s what’s wrong.”
     “No, that’s what’s right! I feel alive! Everything’s vibrating!” I lifted the beer to the sky and swallowed, spilling it over my face. “Let’s go out!”
     We went stumbling down Rahway Ave. clutching our remaining beers, past the rows of tract houses that all looked the same. In a few blocks you’d leave one subdivision and move into another one of a different design. Then for blocks there would be that sameness, then you’d move into another, and so on. The purple eye seemed to stare out from all the windows. Everything was the same, everything was dull and boring and dead.
     “Look at all this, man! Look! Nobody’s doing anything! How come nobody’s doing anything?” I did a little dance in a circle pointing it all out to my friend.
     “Because they’re not drunk.” He grinned a large, stupid grin, like the Cheshire cat.
     I laughed loud and long, not worried about the neighbors.
     “Let’s go see Rita.” he said.
     Rita was a school friend of ours. She was a little girl, but she was also a very big girl. We were all very attracted to her for this but also because she was fun to be around. She was lively and laughing and just on the verge of loving, we felt. We all imagined ourselves up against that buxom body. She played with us like a cat and its nutmeg.
     Rita answered the doorbell and saw two wobbling idiots on her stoop.
     “Are you drunk?”  She was so full of energy and vivacity that drunkenness was incomprehensible to her. We knew it was not our night even for the fun of Rita, much less the deeper pleasure of her. We were shooed away and left on our own.
     We stumbled further on down the road, dragging our beers along by their plastic leashes, until we ended up among the factories, the industrial park in the next town, across the railroad tracks. There was a little stream that went under the road there, then into pipes and under the factories and warehouses. We didn’t know where it went, or what happened to it after it disappeared here. My pal went down into the gulch to take a leak.
     I stood on the bridge looking down at him, his white shirt almost glowing in the reflected electric light of the plant parking lights. I pulled it out and let the stream arc out into the air. From the bridge it sailed beautifully, down onto his back, sssshh, ssschip!
     He didn’t really know what was happening.
     “Hey, what the…?” then; “You’re pissing on me! You’re pissing on me! I can’t believe it! You’re pissing on me!”
      I was.
     He buttoned up and the chase was on, across the well tended plant and warehouse lawns, me screaming and hooting, him cursing and panting. We darted through the factory grass, into the parking lots, around the piled up pallets, laughing and cursing.
     Finally he caught me and rubbed my face in the wet grass. Helpless with laughter I couldn’t fight him off. We both rolled on our backs in the grass, blowing like whales. We couldn’t help but be friends again.
     On the way home we danced in front of the spotlights that shone onto a big brick warehouse wall, creating crazy pantomimes, wild shadow shows, falling on the grass in an ecstasy of release.
     We scuffed and stumbled back down Rahway Ave., heading for home where we’d have to put it all back in our pockets. We’d have to hide our crazy joy, push our breakthrough back into our brains and act as though the world really wasn’t a kaleidoscope of wondrous things. I fell off the sidewalk and into the street and lay on my back on the asphalt, as happy as if I were in a mountain meadow, stared at the sky and laughed and laughed. I laughed at the whole craziness of it, the absurdity of it, the wonder of it and the fear of it.
      We were fourteen and drunk and knew almost nothing and caught in the middle but we were still glad to be alive. We had that much.

 

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Excerpt from Stockboy



I worked that job for ten months. Roof sheeting can be insane, and it’s only a needle in the stack of insane jobs. There was absolutely no mercy from the sun in the blazing summers of California’s foothills. We brought gallon milk jugs filled with frozen water but it would all be gone long before the end of the day, as hot as a spa by that time. We slipped on our own sweat, skittered down the sheets before regaining balance, and searched for spots where it was dry. In the winter, when the rains fell, sometimes for days, the bars and the armchairs were the only places to go for most people. I loved those days though, and lost myself in reading. But in between pages worry about the rent and bills sometimes settled down upon me like a gentle snow, and a chill passed through me. When it wasn’t raining we got to the job site at seven AM and the roofs glistened with the ice crystals that coated the surface of the plywood. We’d wait around for the rising sun to work a bit of magic in melting the ice but Growly nearly always got impatient and shouted; “Get to work! What are ya standing around for?”
            One day a guy went down. He was on a house about four over from ours, on a cul-de-sac, and as the sun edged over the Ponderosa pines to the east it illuminated his roof like a stage. A sudden glint of sunlight off his hammer pierced my eye, and when I looked back he was down on his ass, sliding down the roof with bits of ice and sprays of the previous night’s rain forming a halo about him. He sailed off the edge of the roof like a toboggan. The newly installed and innovative plastic gutter tore off and both objects were airborne for the briefest of moments. The gutter fell onto the freshly poured concrete driveway, clattering like castanets, while the carpenter landed on a mountain of chunky pieces of clay peppered with 2 x 4 and 2 x 6 cut-offs. He was lucky. The ambulance came and took him away, they fixed his broken leg, and he only lost three months of work, and there was no doubt about his claim for worker’s comp.
            A couple days later I went over to Pietro’s house. I hadn’t been there before. It was a squat little place that sat sandwiched between a couple of other squat little places, just a block or two from downtown Grass Valley. There was a cute little scallop to the fascia boards that led steeply to the ridge of the roof and a worn redwood deck led to the front door. I tripped over a plastic scooter as I reached for the bell.
            “Hey man!”  Pietro exclaimed as he opened the door. “Come on in, man!” He looked around at a cacophony of toys and thin but tall kid’s books and strewn clothes littering the floor and couch and said, “Let’s go in the kitchen, man.”
            We sat at the kitchen table.
            “Man, we make a good team.” he said.
            “I think you’re right. Why, do you think? We’re so different.”
            “Doesn’t matter, man. We’re the same where it counts. We both got soul.”
            I laughed.
            “We do, eh?”
            “Yeah, mon, we got soul! We can take the pain and turn it into gain!”
            “You’re shucking and jiving now, my friend.”
            “Look, let’s do this.” He reached into the penny pocket of his jeans and came out with a bindle of coke. He pulled a small mirror over and spilled some of the powder onto it. A razor blade appeared from nowhere and he chopped and diced and sorted the lines, rolled a dollar into a tube, and handed it to me.
            It went up my nose with a medicinal burn and I quickly came alive.
            “Yeah!”
            Maria, Pietro’s wife, appeared in the doorway, as if she was a sentinel. Pietro grabbed a newspaper and covered the evidence, smoothly, as if he was doing nothing other than stretching.
            Maria merely looked at both of us, coldly, as if we were clams. She was rather wide now but I could see that once she must have been foxy, a Latino lover that surely drove Pietro into the situation he now found himself in – endlessly torturing his body to sustain the outcome of that attraction.
            “I love my wife. I really do.” He bent down and sucked up a line like a vacuum cleaner. “She used to be so beautiful!” He bent down again. “I need you, man! I need you! I am so deep in debt! We’re making money! Let’s kick ass, buddy!”
            He pushed the mirror to me and as I bent to send the line to my nose I regretted everything, everything, from the day of my birth to the day I would die, it was all a bunch of crap, and I had no power over it. Pietro, Joe, Mitch, Jimmy, Helio, Growly, Billy, Fuckhead, and all the bloody and battered workers I’d shared both rotten and beautiful moments with, their names were like a list on the wall of a monument, were doomed to a life where their potential was squandered and finally squashed. Beauty bathed each and every one of us every day but we never seemed able to grasp a hold of it. Life was a monumental struggle, and in a world of such bounty no one could understand why.
             After I’d said goodbye I looked up at Pietro’s house and wondered about the lives that happened in there.
            Then I turned and headed back to my place. Joice was waiting, impatiently, and nothing was going to stop our outcome from happening.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Excerpt from God Awful Acres



Late the next morning, with the Kalahari sun a furnace upon our skulls, we were out in the vineyard of the DeBruyn Brothers Boerderie. Anton DeBruyn briskly led us to the section that was infested by the dread bug of grape growers the world over. It didn’t look bad, the vines had not yet felt the full pinch of what insects the size of a pinhead can cause, when a bunch of them get together to enjoy a party. The little group of humans carried two picks, two shovels, two pruning shears, indelible pens, plastic bags, and one notebook. Not high-tech work. Two Tswana men carried the picks and shovels.
            “This is about the middle of it, right here.” announced Anton, pulling up to a halt.
            “Is it just this block?”
            “Pretty much.”
           I knew that wasn’t true. It took a few years before the symptoms appeared and you could pretty much bet the little fuckers had already made it over to the next block, at least. I explained the sampling plan to the Tswana guys, and gave more detail to Hugh so he would have an idea of what it was I was trying to do.
            I was very uncomfortable with the two staff doing all the work. It had always been me hoisting the pick against rock hard clay; in fact, in my experience the whole team sweat and ached, working in the egalitarian spirit. It was an American trait that I was proud of. But the soil there in the Northern Cape had enough sand that we didn’t need the picks. The shovels slid beneath the roots with a few beats of the gumboots. I was down on all fours leaning into the holes, clipping off samples of roots. Hugh had volunteered to hold the bags to receive the samples. He stood with the open bags stretched in his sweaty fingers like some beggar hoping for crumbs. Some of the roots appeared to have the tiny golden globs sprinkled along them, like a spice, and were blistered and scarred from their bite.
            Ah, grape phylloxera!
          Few insects have wreaked such havoc upon an agricultural industry. It nearly brought the French economy down in the mid-1800’s, simply by taking advantage of the wonderful opportunity humans had provided them. The fact that the industry involves wine holds special place. Eat our broccoli, our squash, our tomatoes, fine, but our grapes? That is too much!  The elite need their wine, the history of it, the aura of it, the swirl of it, and the opaque status that knowledge of it seems to bring to them. The word ‘phylloxera’ brought shivers all along the bones of grape growers and wine lovers the world over.
            All in all, a magnificent insect. That something so small could plunder something so large in such a way was something to ponder.
            “Here, let me try for awhile.” I said.
            I took the shovel from the Tswana worker, whose sweat gleamed off a middle-aged face, grey hair like a white pepper sprinkled on his scalp. He stood back in his blue coveralls and looked displeased.
            Digging in, the shovel slicing into the soil with a dull shi-ick sound, the sweat began to pour off my forehead, finding its way into my eyes to burn like an acid. I became rabid, salivating over each new shovelful, leaping into the pit with pruning shears poised, pulling out a bundle of roots lined with droplets of gold.
            Ah, grape phylloxera! A magnificent insect!
           It laid waste to the human race. How the mighty shall fall! The grand and wonderful human race was nothing before the onslaught of a tiny bug. The Great Chain of Being indeed!
          But the message was lost among that crowd, the restaurant and fine dining set, the supper party bunch; wine will always win out.
         When we had our samples we all trudged back through the churned up soil, headed for the bakkie and a few cold ones. The two Tswana held back a bit behind Hugh and I. I didn’t like the feeling, the stink of ingrained subservience like a polluted gulf between us. It was a stink that held the whole history of this place in its fumes, indelible along the linings of one’s nostrils.
           Back at the bakkie I opened the cooler and cracked beers open for myself and Hugh. I looked over to the workers, whose names I’d been told but couldn’t possibly pronounce. Hell, I’d failed first year French.
            “You want one?” holding up a can of Castle.
            “No baas.”
            No baas. What was with that? It was 11 years since the fall of apartheid.
            “I’m not your baas. I’m Jack.”
            “Yes baas. But no beer baas.”
            The voices of workers singing, unseen among the vines, wafted across the oven baked air like a cool breeze.
            I looked at Hugh and Hugh looked at me. We tilted our heads and lifted our eyebrows. That’s it. Let’s go.
            We waved as we drove off, dust clouds billowing behind us.
          The myth of the dark continent fell over the other continents like a sheet, but a mystery remained even when the myth was shattered. It wasn’t an ancient mystery though, it was a mystery born a mere few hundred years before the time Hugh and I waved goodbye to two Tswana men standing in blue coveralls before a backdrop of green grapevines, the peaked roof of the palatial DeBruyn estate just visible on the horizon.